Today is the day to school without accompany by my mum. It is the first time since the car accident happened two months ago. It has changed my life.
My mum and I were not really close because I was not the kind who loves to share my feelings to others. Also my mum was a nurse who needs to work in shifts therefore we did not have much time to be with each other.
That morning I was late for school as I slept at the time of 4 last night, so I immediately dressed up and ran out of my house. On the road I could see the blue sky and clouds through the reflection of the water. The sun was too shiny and I could feel my sweat dropping from my jaw line. It became more and more difficult for me to keep my speed. I started to distract myself by counting the trees on my right until I arrived the end of the road. I looked up and saw the red traffic light. Still, I crossed the road because there was no time to wait.
Boommmmmm!! I was hit by a minibus.
When I opened my eyes again I saw a white ceiling and I was surrounded by some green drapes. A hand with ring on the ring finger held my hand. It was my mum. She crabbed my hand really tight that it made both of our hands shake. There were tears on her face and she shouted loudly ‘Daddy! Our daughter finally wakes up! Call the doctor!’ The doctor checked my status and told my parents that I was fine but it would take me a month to recover. I felt so relieved but at the same time I heard my mum weeping. The tears were all over her face and there were steams on her glasses. Her hair was a mess and some of her hair was stuck on her face. Nevertheless, I still thought she was pretty without knowing why. My tears dropped too and I felt so heart-broken when I saw my mother’s tears.
A month in hospital was not easy. I could not sleep very well. The car accident became a terrifying nightmare. In the dream I was wearing the school uniform running back to school. Suddenly there were hands crawling on the road. Those hands grabbed my legs and I could not make a single move. On the other side the minibus was rushing towards me. I tried to run away but since my legs were tied by those hands, I failed. All I could do was to wait until the minibus hit me. The nightmare was scary but I decided to hid this as a secret as I thought I could overcome this.
After a month, I was discharged. When my mum and I were about to cross the road in front of the hospital, I suddenly stopped and I could feel my legs were shaking. I looked at the traffic light and it was red again. My heartbeat beat in a really fast speed, which created a harmony with the rhythm of the traffic light. Soon I closed my eyes and grabbed my mum’s arm tightly. ‘I can’t’.’ I said. ‘What can’t?’ Mum replied. ‘I can’t walk through the crossroad. I can’t do this.’ I spoke in a really light tone. At last, I closed my eyes and let my mum to lead the way through. When I was walking with my mother, my heartbeat became steady. The warmness of my mum’s hand spreaded to my whole body. My fear was being comforted.
The bad dream happened more and more often in the next week. ‘Shall I told mum?’, I struggled. Surprisingly she was not shocked when she heard that I had post-traumatic stress. In fact she said that she knew this would happened when she saw me frightened walking out of the hospital. My tears ran out as I did not know she would care that much for me. She told me that dad and her would walk me to school for a month and I could feel the strength in my body. I was so ready to overcome my fear with her support and love.
The one-month trial began and I felt less and less nervous each time. At the beginning of time my mum would hold my hand and walk pass the crossroad with me. Slowly I did not feel embarrassed when holding hands with my mum anymore. After several times she started to let me walk first and she would be 2 steps behind. When nearly the end of the month she tried to let me walk alone. When I turned my back after successfully crossing the road I found that she looked at me with a warm big smile. Her smile was a huge encouragement to me and I could finally feel her love explicitly.
The next day I woke up 30 minutes earlier than before. It was the first day to go school alone again. Mum and I looked at each other before I left my house and she gave me a hug. Some words suddenly went out of my mouth. ‘I love you, Thank you mum.’ I said. This is the very first time for me to express my love to her, because I always feel that it is too awkward. ‘Me too, I know you can do it’, she whispered. Finally I walked out of my house and fears were all gone. I knew that my mum will always have my back and I will not have anything to worry about. The car accident might make me suffered a lot physically and emotionally, but I have gained something more important. If there was not the accident, I would not know the love from my mum was that strong that I could rely on her when I was afraid or weak. If there was not the accident, we would never have the chance to get closer. If there was not the accident, my life would never be changed.