Before I was thirteen, I lived in the Mainland China and lived a relaxing and carefree life during those days. There were many friends around me, and I could play games with my friends at school. Although I was arrogant and overconfident in the eyes of my friends, they gave me a lot of tolerance and trust. After that, because of my family's immigration, I needed to study in a new environment in Hong Kong. Without having any Cantonese background in my early life, it was difficult for me to speak Cantonese. I needed to try my best to adapt to studying Form one Cantonese.
The sky was bright and blue, but my mind was dark and grey on the 4th May of 2009. Even though the school’s facilities were better than my last school at first glance, I did not feel joyful or excited. When I first stepped into the new classroom, I could never forget the curious and peering eyes of my classmates. I sat alone in the corner of the last row and shivered nervously. When I attended my first Chinese lesson, I felt very nervous and scared. My Chinese teacher Miss Chu warmly invited me to introduce myself in front of my classmates in Cantonese, so that my classmates could know and understand me better.
‘Cindy, please come out to introduce yourself to all of us.’ Miss Chu said.
‘Okay. Thank you.’
‘Students, shall we clap our hands to invite Cindy to speak for serval minutes?’ Miss Chu voiced out.
‘Of course.’ Shouted by Classmates.
‘Okay. Please come here, Cindy.’
‘Um…….’
‘My … name is … Chan… Sze …Ting. I … I am so … happy to …be … classmates with… you guys. I ……’ I spoke it quietly.
When I said the first sentence in Cantonese, my classmates began laughing at me. My face got very red and I felt embarrassed. Actually, I had not said any words in Cantonese before that. I knew that my Cantonese pronunciation was not standard, and the pronunciation pattern of Mandarin was mixed into my Cantonese, which lead to my strange pronunciation during my self-introduction. However, under the scrutinizing eyes of my classmates, I had to complete my one-minute self-introduction speech. From my childhood to now, my close relatives and friends praised me with everything, but this time I felt deeply ashamed and criticized. I knew that my pronunciation was problematic and I just had to force myself to continue the introduction. As I liked to parade my own superiority and strive to outshine others, others questioned my ability, but I still relied on myself to complete the task at hand.
‘Oh…Oh.’ Boys shouted. Classmates chatted around them secretly and jeered at me.
Miss Chu said: ‘Be quiet.’
‘I like … riding a …bike. If you … want to play … with me, …we can … ride a …bike …in the …free time. Thank you.’
Miss Chu: ‘Thank you, Cindy. You can go back to your seat.’
’Okay. Thank you, miss Chu.’
When I walked back to my seat, I heard that my classmates were talking about my speech. They were mimicking my style and pronunciation of speech, which plummeted my self-confidence and self-esteem. Faced with the criticism of my classmates, I had to pay attention to my own abilities. I might have been arrogant and loathed humility in the past. After that, Miss Chu also asked me to come to her office and meet her after class. Miss Chu did not stop and scold my classmates, and she ignored their laughter. She just proceeded to teach the contents of the textbook. In the face of an unfamiliar environment and strange students, I silently wiped the tears in my eyes away.
Because of my performance in the self-introduction, my classmates misunderstood me and made me an outcast. Whenever I asked for help or asked questions, they ignored me and disliked me. They always wore coloured spectacles to evaluate my abilities and behaviours. I asked my classmates that what I should study in advance for the next lesson. A classmate Amy who sat next to me just looked at me with disdain and replied that there was nothing to do. Other classmates shouted: ‘Mainlander, go back to your country.’ Because of my accent in speaking Cantonese, they felt like I was not one of their peers. I could not imagine why my classmates liked to look at me under these coloured spectacles. At that moment, it was my first time facing difficulty and feeling dark inside.
From that day, I needed to build up my image to change my classmates’ behaviours. I was looking for some Cantonese phone calls to imitate the host's pronunciation, I read it over and over again. And then I used the mobile phone to record it and listen to mistakes. I practiced with my teacher during the break time. Besides that, I began to participate in volunteer activities to understand the characteristics of Hong Kong students, so I could slowly integrate into the local culture. When I joined some activities, I invited my classmates to join them too. Even though they ignored me or felt disappointed me, I still tried my best to change their behaviour.
By participating in different activities and competitions, I became a confident and active person again. When I built up my comprehensive skills, classmates liked to talk with me and share our skills with each other. Classmates invited me to join their gathering and liked to talk with me during Maths. It was good for me to build up my relationships. Because of my classmates’ coloured spectacles, this gave me a chance to know and understand myself and let myself learn how to do anything in the future.
Because no one can understand another person in a short period of time, everyone is affected by their first impressions. It caused them to exaggerate the behaviour they saw and neglect the feelings of the other party. Therefore, an environment like that allowed me to be stronger and tried to improve my ability to get their recognition. After a while, they also accepted me and we got along well. When people encounter problems, everyone is willing to ignore the prejudice; we like to help and encourage each other. I am thankful for my growth under the coloured spectacles, and I'm thankful for the students who gave me challenges that reduced my pride and arrogance.