Her name was Mary. What an ordinary name for someone with so much depth and character. I remember the first time I saw her. Carrying a suitcase and several bags on her shoulders, I greeted her excitedly by the door. “Hello, I’m Mary. How are you?” were the first words she said to me. When I was around 7 years old, after my younger brother was born, my parents hired her to take care of us. At first, I was pretty stunned at the fact that there would be a stranger living with us. But I did not have a hard time getting used to having her around. She was so full of life. She would always tell me about her life in the Philippines, telling me how Hong Kong people are so uptight and always in a rush. We used to watch shows like “America’s Next Top Model” and “America’s got talent” all the time. Not only that, we would rent DVDs to watch on Saturdays. She had seen most of them before. I always thought she was full of stories. I guess I still think about our movie nights a lot. We used to carry the mattress into the living room and build a fort for movie nights. Watching old classics like Home Alone, Free Willy, The Chocolate Factory, etc. without her just doesn't feel right.
I soon developed a really close relationship with her as she was there with me most of the time, even when my parents weren’t. I felt really comfortable with her. She is a single mother with three sons. She used to say that I was the daughter she never had. I felt the same. Though she did not have an easy life, she was incredibly smart. I learnt most of my English from her. We exchanged filthy words in our languages as well. Back then, my mother was awfully strict, and she only focused on my academic performance. Mary was like my caring, fun mother. I would always go to her for comfort after being scolded by my own mother.
My parents were always at work, so it was mostly Mary, my brother and myself. She used to bring me to the library often. I remember thinking that someday I could read a really thick book like the ones she borrowed. Walking down memory lane, I feel like I can still smell the fishy and gamey odor from the market next to the library. I loved our casual stroll across the neighborhood. I think I got attached to her really easily because she would always share things with me, even if I did not understand it at the time. One night I will never forget is when we stayed up late and she told me about all the boyfriends she has had. Of course, I did not get all the lovey-dovey details, but my mother would never share anything with me. It felt like I entered a whole other dimension, listening to the life she had lived. For example, she would sneak out of the house in the middle of the night to go for a swim in the lake. How wild to me that was! Growing up in a traditional Chinese family, I never thought about being special or making my life remarkable. In a way, she opened my eyes to a lot of things, and I saw things with a new perspective. I believe that’s why I became open-minded and accepting.
I have always admired her enthusiasm and hard work in providing for her family. She told me that she has always known her dream was to move to Canada. After working for my family for a few years, she got a job offer from a family in Canada. To be frank, I do not remember how I reacted the first time I heard the news. However, I do remember the night before her flight. I was lying in bed with my mother and it suddenly hit me that she was going to leave. I burst into tears and cried myself to sleep that night. I was devastated. I did not know how to say goodbye to a person I cherished so deeply. I was too young to know. My heart was still whole.
Memories of the next day are scattered and blurry but I recall her being especially gentle. When she said her goodbye and got on the bus, I can't remember whether I broke down sobbing or tried to hold it in, but I can still picture her face in my head. Smiling, holding back tears, with a bittersweet look in her eyes. It hurt my heart, seeing her leave. But it was time.
I cried every day for God knows how long. Not long after she left, I watched a movie on a Saturday night, by myself. It was called Nanny McPhee. She reminded me a lot of Mary with her intelligence and uniqueness. There was a line in the movie that said: When you need me, but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me, but no longer need me, then I have to go.". It reminded me of how I did not want a stranger to take care of me at first. But the stranger turned out to be a person who I will remember for the rest of my life.
Mary leaving was a turning point for me. I grew scared of becoming attached to a person. Being so reliant on someone is terrifying. My family hired another maid after she left. I never let myself get close with that maid. When she resigned, I did not shed one tear. Afterwards, there have actually been times when I thought I was a cold-blooded person as I had a hard time letting people in. I don’t really contact Mary anymore because I feel like we are not who we once were anymore. Change is the only constant. Everyone changes. Nevertheless, her impact on me was huge and the childhood memories she has given me were priceless.
Growing older, I have realized that every event of my life has shaped me into who I am today. It is interesting looking back at those moments. I did not know back then, but if it weren’t for those times, I would have not been the person I am today. I am a strong believer in the saying “everything happens for a reason”. It is truly a motiving quote, inspiring people to accept who they are and grow from things they have been through, especially the most heartbreaking of times.