The Most Special One

I used to become a protagonist.

When I graduated from kindergarten, there was a graduate show. I was a little bit cleverer than others when I was young. I am outgoing. All my classmates were my friend.

There were three main characters, and I am one of them.

I do not remember what kind of performance we did, but we sang, danced, and held the pom-pom. I think it is a cheerleading team, and I am the center.

I did not remember how we exercised and trained for the performance. Still, I remember the performance on a Sunday at 1 pm.

I remember my hair becoming stiff because of the hair spray; my face was red because of the makeup. I stood in the middle of the stage, and everyone will first look at me. All of the audience was taking photos or video via their phone, and all the camera was focused on me.

The weather was a bit cold because we performed in the biggest shopping center. But I was sweating and perspiring.

I saw my mother. She was taking photos of me.

I thought I was the most special person in this world.

However, I changed my thought in primary school: the Christmas party, the Christmas song singing competition on p.1, another performance.

I was sure to stand in the middle of the stage. Same with kindergarten, all my classmates were my friend, the teacher loved me and always chatted with me.

This primary school holds the Christmas Party on 23rd December every year. We did not need to wear school uniforms on that day, and we only had two lessons. After lessons, all students went to the school hall, and each class sang a Christmas song. We usually practice in the music and English lessons because those Christmas songs are in English.

After the Christmas Song Competition, the teacher will decide the winner for each grade. Then we will go back to our classroom and have a Christmas Party. All my classmates will bring some food and a gift for the party. If we win the Christmas Song Competition, we will have some extra presents.

We did not become the winner because of me.

It is very sudden. I still do not understand why I could not smile on the stage at that moment. Not only cannot smile but also cannot move. I stand like a wooden doll.

I can't do that. All of the people are looking at me.

I tried to move my hand, then I discovered that I had forgotten all the action.

What should I do in the next part? I forget all the action, and I also forget all the lyrics, so I continue to open and close my mouth, and then all people may think that I am singing.

But the utmost importance was the steps!

My hand became cold and started to be trembling. I even cannot control my hand. The classmate who stood on my left-hand side raised her hand. Then the ribbon tied flew in front of my eye on the other hand. I saw a red.

Oh, I should raise my hand.

When I raise my hand, they put down their hand. Then when I put down my hand, they raised their hand again. When the audience looked at me, I looked like the broken doll on the stage. My action was continually delayed.

I felt afraid and looked down from the stage. Fortunately——or unfortunately, no one looked at me.

I always thought that I was the most special one in the world.

The Christmas Song started becoming quiet, and I heard a sound like something broken.

I could not move on the stage, the Christmas Song performance was just half, but I felt I stage in the stage already one hour.

My hand became cold, and just like someone used a nail to mix my feet, I could not move.

No one was looking at me.

I am not the most special one in the world.

I am just a normal person, a seven years old girl.

A normal girl.

Then I discovered that only one person was looking at me, which was my class teacher. Her name is Miss Ma.

She was the only one standing in the auditorium——she stood in the back to ensure she would not block any students. It is also easier to control the rule. Some students may overexcite, and her duty was to avoid any accident.

Now, she was just the only audience looking at me, and she hand kept doing some action, which was the action that I should do.

Like ice-broken, my hand started to follow Miss Ma's action. I put up my hand, made a heart, and then put my hand near my right ear, just like I am listening to the Christmas Song.

Although I forgot all the steps, I can follow Miss Ma. It's okay.

However, I still could not smile. My face was stiff as a statue.

It is okay. The stage is too far away from the auditorium. The audience may not see my face. I was just a tiny dot in their eyes.

Miss Ma came and led us to the audience after our show. I felt sad and bowed my head. I was in the first row to get down from the stage, so Miss Ma was easy to find me.

She asked, "why don't you perform when you sing the Christmas song?"

"I forget the steps……I was too nervous." I said with a wry smile.

"But you can still smile." Miss Ma patted my head, "It's okay…… never mind."

She was talking about the fact that I did not smile. It is not a punishment.

However, I just felt I was punished. I believe that I am the most brilliant star on this stage, in this school, in this world. However, when I forgot all the steps and looked down from the stage, I suddenly understood that my thought was wrong.

I am just a mediocre student.

Time flies to secondary school. After I graduated from primary school, I entered a band two secondary school, which is a little bit above the average in Hong Kong. I am also a little bit better than the average level in academic results in this school.

When I was F.5, sixteen years old, the girl sitting in front of me was called Zina. She was interested in anything except academics.

We just finished our lunch. It was summer, and ice peach tea's mint tastes made my mouth ice-cold. She suddenly said she wanted to be a model in the school fashion show.

One of the unique things about our school is that we will have a fashion show every two years. All the V.A. students will become the designer, and they must choose a schoolmate as their model.

I opened my mouth, "you have friends who studied V.A.?"

"No, I just want to stand on the stage." She smiled and asked, "Don't you think your school life was mediocre? You should do something special."

I put down my tea and opened my mathematics book. I said," Well, I did many special events that you don't know. My school life was remarkable enough."

Suddenly, I memorized that the seven-year-old girl was standing in the middle of the stage. She looked like deer in the headlights. When I looked down the stage, it was just unlimited dark.

I also heard the sound this time, just like something broken.

After that accident, I had never stood on the stage. In secondary school, I was not as famous as in primary school. I had just a few numbers of friends and seldom chatted with teachers. I had never won any competition personally or never did "something big" in these years.

However, I thought that I had a remarkable school life in secondary school.

Special was not equal to any performance stage.

I mean to Zina that was, although I was mediocre in other eyes, I still had some unique experiences in my school life.

Like I enjoyed my school picnic with my friend. Like my friend waited for me and went back home together. Like I failed my quiz and got a good result in the examination.

I became the chairperson of the school society, I argued with somebody, and celebrated my friend’s birthday.

These memories could not copy, I am the only one that experiences them. It is unique school life in the world, also my life was.

Times fly, and I become mediocre, accepting my normal.

Yes, I am mediocre, just a tiny dot in this school, just like dust in this world.

But I am also unique.

I am one of the most special people in this world.